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01/02/2008, 19:05 memb Joined on 18/01/2008 Posts 242 Re: Moral harrassment on the work place  Frenchie wrote: I ve just read all those posts and first, let me thank you all for your very kind and interesting answers.. My friend and I have talked to the management quite a while ago, they just said we should not do or say anything, it would sort it out by itself, calm down.. But it doesn't. Now I ve decided enough is enough and I want something to happen to make things change. So from what you've put Frenchie the time is right to approach management again, or....if you are brave enough.....face who you believe to be the ringleader.    Another approach is to face the weakest one first (if you know who they are) and hit them with the hard fact that EVERYONE involved will be accountable for their actions....then approach management.    Report

01/02/2008, 19:14 Frenchie Joined on 31/05/2007 Niort, 2 Sèvres,79 Posts 4,677 Re: Moral harrassment on the work place I did speak to the ringleader on monday, and a member of management was in the room. I said I was VERY annoyed by the fact that once again I had not been told about a meeting etc.. She just said " don't protest, we ve done the job for you".. and she turned away... You see? She managed to be " the victim " . I went to the management offices, they say they re thinking about solutions. I will go again on monday.   I believe in miracles ..........    Report

01/02/2008, 19:26 memb Joined on 18/01/2008 Posts 242 Re: Moral harrassment on the work place  Frenchie wrote: I did speak to the ringleader on monday, and a member of management was in the room. I said I was VERY annoyed by the fact that once again I had not been told about a meeting etc.. She just said " don't protest, we ve done the job for you".. and she turned away... You see? She managed to be " the victim " . I went to the management offices, they say they re thinking about solutions. I will go again on monday.   You MUST try and be one step ahead by pre-empting their smart answers.    To the above I would have replied "but may I register with you and management that I am here to do my work and I don't wish anyone to do it for me, not you, not anyone".....and added "please don't turn away when I am speaking".    Report

01/02/2008, 19:50 Frenchie Joined on 31/05/2007 Niort, 2 Sèvres,79 Posts 4,677 Re: Moral harrassment on the work place You are right, but when it happened, I didn't have time to think about the right thing to say.. It happened so quickly.. What really makes me mad is all the gossip I can't control..    I ve learnt a few things today, believe me, I was gobsmacked!! I believe in miracles ..........    Report

01/02/2008, 20:02 Clair Joined on 23/08/2004 ------- Forum Moderator ------- Lot (46) Posts 7,806 Re: Moral harrassment on the work place It is very very difficult to work under such an atmosphere (speaking from experience). You must continue to work to the best of your ability. If you feel mentally strong enough, try never to lose your temper with the ring-leader and put her on the spot when there are witnesses in the room, by asking her about anything about work you think you should know about. Make a point of asking her without any antagonism, so that you are not seen to be aggressive or unpleasant. If the attitude continues, just say that there seems to be a problem, that the lack of communication is detrimental to how effectiveley you can do your work and you must now seek help from her manager. Once you say it, do it and do not back down, but always, always keep your calm and always be civil to them. Be brave, be calm, be strong. Clair Real Virtual French Person    Report

01/02/2008, 20:09 Frenchie Joined on 31/05/2007 Niort, 2 Sèvres,79 Posts 4,677 Re: Moral harrassment on the work place  memb wrote:  Frenchie wrote: Indeed, nothign to do with sexual matters, just being put aside when decisions are taken, not being informed of meetings being held, gossiping, insults, etc.. The result ? being isolated with just one very good friend at work, and I feel so bad. The situation is obviously affecting you otherwise you would'nt have posted, so you must do something about it. YES , very true    I was involved in workshops which addressed this type of situation before I came to France.     If you feel all the above is happening you must advise your superiors / management, advising them that they may not believe its happening,  RIGHT AGAIN but state you have felt it has been for some time, and as a way to take it forward and stop it from happening you intend to make a log of such situations and return to them in (say....one month - or whatever you feel is the right length of time), with the hope that the matter can be put right by them very quickly.       If management are good management this will be kept totally confidential.    Good Luck Frenchie. Merci beaucoup..  It s good to feel understood...   I believe in miracles ..........    Report

01/02/2008, 20:10 Frenchie Joined on 31/05/2007 Niort, 2 Sèvres,79 Posts 4,677 Re: Moral harrassment on the work place  Nice Cup of Tea wrote: It is a recognised problem, and isn't committed just by insecure individuals, but sometimes by entire teams of co-workers. There are many webpages devoted to it.  Here's one http://www.doctissimo.fr/html/psychologie/mag_2001/mag0112/ps_2809_harcelement_moral.htm     merci beaucoup for taking the time to post a link... I believe in miracles ..........    Report

01/02/2008, 20:12 Frenchie Joined on 31/05/2007 Niort, 2 Sèvres,79 Posts 4,677 Re: Moral harrassment on the work place  Geordie girl wrote: frenchie, what a rotten situation to be in. Bullies are usually weak  and so choose even weaker people to be in their " gang " as they like to stay as "top dog ". They must live pretty boring lives if it makes them feel good by alienating you and your friend at work. Like Twinkle said they could be jealous of your lifestyle your career your everything. You`ll never know really until one of this  "gang " gets fed up and pulls away & spills the beans.  For this to happen seems science fiction to me !! But you never know.... Good luck   MERCI     I believe in miracles ..........    Report

01/02/2008, 20:13 Frenchie Joined on 31/05/2007 Niort, 2 Sèvres,79 Posts 4,677 Re: Moral harrassment on the work place  Pads wrote: Frenchie , be brave and just go up to one of them on there own and ask them straight out , they will be very embrassed and hopfully wont do it again. but you may get an answer as to why ? it will probally be some thing silly , that some one thinks you have done or said , go for it gal !! I'm thinking about it now.. Need to do it I think. I believe in miracles ..........    Report

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France Forum » Living » Earning a Livin... » Re: Moral harrassment on the work place

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