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18/06/2008, 6:39 chessfou Joined on 15/11/2005 Aveyron Posts 395 Re: Death.... then integration Nice map and accurate (3) for l'Aveyron (at least our bit). One additional point (Frenchie, is this common throughout France?) is that we do not share bises  (nor do the others, aside from family) with the senior lady of the village. Also here, on first acquaintance, it may or may not be bises.    Report

18/06/2008, 21:08 Frenchie Joined on 31/05/2007 2 Sèvres,79 Posts 3,885 Re: Death.... then integration Hi, well, no, can't see why..  It is not something like a " rule" if that 's what you meant.. Maybe is  she  strict and respected ? Happy    Report

20/06/2008, 8:43 chessfou Joined on 15/11/2005 Aveyron Posts 395 Re: Death.... then integration I don't know about strict but yes, she is most highly respected. She and her husband (both in their 70s) also work extremely hard. He recently dug a 1m+ deep trench from the wall of their house to the road, in order to connect up to the new sewage system being installed (they didn't want to/couldn't afford to waste money paying the contractors) and a few weeks ago I saw her up a ladder, helping to construct the walls of their new bergerie .... Meanwhile I struggle to put together the wooden composter I bought my wife for her birthday (the one before last - birthday, not wife).    Report

20/06/2008, 15:44 Loiseau Joined on 23/08/2004 London/Vendée Posts 897 Re: Death.... then integration  chessfou wrote: ...Meanwhile I struggle to put together the wooden composter I bought my wife for her birthday.... My glasses need cleaning!  I misread "composter" as "computer" - and it conjured up a wonderful vision ! Angela    Report

20/06/2008, 16:24 chessfou Joined on 15/11/2005 Aveyron Posts 395 Re: Death.... then integration I misread "composter" as "computer" Would that it were - I can happily build one of those from scratch, although had I been doing so I wouldn't have bought the two bags of nails ...    Report

28/06/2008, 23:12 tenniswitch Joined on 15/11/2005 Posts 523 Re: Death.... then integration  Acoustic wrote: We initially found moving to France hard after living in Andalucia for 6 years for this very reason.  There the level of familiarity is much more noticeable, although you would still definitely need to know the appropriateness of certain actions.  Moving to "tu" is quite rapid, much more so than in other parts of Spain, but you have to gauge the move pretty shrewdly!  And two kisses on the cheek is so common that I still have to think twice here as it is very usual on first introduction in Spain on social occasions, almost like the British handshake. But even there I would find it amazing in a commercial situation - the bank teller might be calling you "tu" after a few visits unless you make a point of using "usted" (vous) - sometimes used as a "distancer" in various circumstances (a whole other story) - but any kisses would be most unlikely! All in all I find it easier in France now, "vous" almost invariably (we've never yet got to know anyone where "tu" might be used) and, so far, no kisses! I've been kissed upon introduction in social situations in France (was I ever surprised), but I can't imagine anyone at Credit Ag doing so (although they have been very helpful and patient with me when I've had problems). Life is too tragic to be taken seriously.    Report

29/06/2008, 21:31 odile Joined on 09/05/2008 Posts 276 Re: Death.... then integration main thing to remember about kiss/ing    is grammar! Eg the difference between a noun and a verb - irrespective on how many    Report

29/06/2008, 22:06 Patf Joined on 23/08/2004 SW Gers Posts 2,169 Re: Death.... then integration I wrote earlier in this thread that I could imagine Nathalie at our Credit Agricole branch kissing someone. And lo and behold last week I saw her kiss the female friend of ours that I mentioned. Once on each side . But she only shook Steve's hand.  (Not Steve powerdesal.)    Report

30/06/2008, 9:47 Lotmontel Joined on 31/05/2008 Charente Maritime Posts 11 Re: Death.... then integration Hi, I wonder if someone can advise me as I am confused about tu and vous! I hope that it's ok to post this here! We have recently become aquaintances / friends with some parents of a school friend of my daughters.  These parents and my husband all call eachother tu but I continue to call them vous.  I know that they are quite desperate to become good friends with us (the mother is a Parisien and has not found the village very welcoming!). Normally, as I have done with other people in the village, I would wait for them to invite me to call them tu.  The problem arises because my (french) husband has told me that he believes that they are using vous with me because they know I am a doctor and want to show respect. He tells me that I should invite them to use tu!  I am not sure that my husband is right with this assumption (despite being french, he is not always right about french etiquette!!) but as I said, I do know that they want to be friends with us!  Anyone have any advice?  If I am to suggest tu, how do I do it? TIA El P.S. I also forgot to kiss her this morning on the school run - I was too busy gabbling on about our (youngest) children's first day at school (OOPS)!     Report

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France Forum » French Culture » French Culture » Death.... then integration

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