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02/03/2008, 13:10 Panda Joined on 29/01/2008 Charente (16) and Vienne (86) Posts 238 Re: My "Totty" post I expressed my dislike of the term in the orignal thread!  It's an expression that I've heard often, my reasons are different for not liking the sound of Euro using it.  Where I come from it's something that a teen or early twenty something could only get away with and even then come across as a certain type.  Once you hit 30+  using the term would make you appear as a dirty old man as it implies the search for a young girl.      Report

02/03/2008, 15:29 jetlag Joined on 06/12/2005 Charente Maritime Posts 308 Re: My "Totty" post Is the term 'totty' just for use by men then??  I use it quite a lot when referring to men of the hunky & gorgeous variety along with 'eye candy' and I am a 40 something girlie!!!     Report

02/03/2008, 16:01 now just john Joined on 28/04/2005 Montignac le coq Posts 364 Re: My "Totty" post Disappointing and strange that most of the replies (especially the heated ones) were about the phrase used and not much about how single people meet one another, whether it be in the French or ex-pat community, which I thought might have provoked some much more interesting discussion, ho hum. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity it is as perennial as the grass.        Report

02/03/2008, 16:27 Russethouse Joined on 23/08/2004 Forum Moderator Posts 9,485 Re: My "Totty" post To euro quote from the other thread: although on balance would prefer a Brit friend / very good friend I should think its unlikely that single British women would be out 'actively looking' en masse in South West France the way they may be in the UK. I think the OP is probably going to find a friend via other couples or pursuing a mutual interest. Perhaps an association of some kind....? One French friend met her British husband on the beach, an American friend met her French husband in the shop she managed........ www.quimperclub.org 99    Report

02/03/2008, 18:40 euro Joined on 15/11/2005 Posts 44 Re: My "Totty" post you are definitely barking up the wrong tree !   this was specifically meant for the guy suggesting i am a reincarnation or a tad gay.   Euro everything takes longer to finish than we would like.    Report

03/03/2008, 10:50 J.R's gone native Joined on 16/07/2006 Picardie, Sussex Posts 1,695 Re: My "Totty" post  Panda wrote: Where I come from it's something that a teen or early twenty something could only get away with and even then come across as a certain type.  Once you hit 30+  using the term would make you appear as a dirty old man as it implies the search for a young girl. Why is someone in their 30's searching for a younger girl a "dirty old man"? None of the celebs or the monied get called that, its just "young at heart" (or lucky so and so) etc. I am in my late 40's and 14 years older than my French girlfriend (the same age difference as my parents and several other family marriages), does that make me a "dirty old, old, man"? If you havn't already guessed you have touched a nerve, just as the OP did with a few of you. I think that he was being provocative and hope that he is enjoying the debate as much as I am! So to further fuel the fire here is another example: When I was in my early 30's I hooked up with a rather "high maintenance" girl of 20 years old, intellectually and life experience wise she was definitely far too young for me (although a more mature and different 18 year old may not have been) however we both knew the score and enjoyed the (mainly physical) relationship while it lasted. It was at the time that the tabloid headlines were screaming "Battle of the bimbos" after Ralph Halpern got caught out as did David Mellor and others I cannot remember, so I nick-named her "the bimbo" and she loved it! Although I am sure that the irony went over her head. Interestingly at that time the rich, powerfull and more attractive Halpern was not called a dirty old man whereas the younger Mellor was!    Report

03/03/2008, 12:10 Catalpa Joined on 23/08/2004 Southern Manche - 50 Posts 1,453 Re: My "Totty" post  J.R. wrote: so I nick-named her "the bimbo" and she loved it! Although I am sure that the irony went over her head. In my view that's a different circumstance as you knew each other (well ) and you presumably bestowed the name with affection, not to belittle her. Did you call her The Bimbo if you and she were with a group of your friends? If my OH started calling me Bimbo, I'd be amazed () but I'd know it came from affection. If he referred to a woman as "totty" (again, I'd be ... surprised!) I'd know he was being casually dismissive.    Report

03/03/2008, 15:13 J.R's gone native Joined on 16/07/2006 Picardie, Sussex Posts 1,695 Re: My "Totty" post  Catalpa wrote:  J.R. wrote: so I nick-named her "the bimbo" and she loved it! Although I am sure that the irony went over her head. In my view that's a different circumstance as you knew each other (well ) and you presumably bestowed the name with affection, not to belittle her. Did you call her The Bimbo if you and she were with a group of your friends? Good question! The answer is surprisingly yes but it was her that instigated it, as I said she didn't see the irony of it and perhaps was comparing herself to the "model" types (I would choose another word) that Mellor and Halpern were dallying with. I bet she cringes at the memory now. Totty to me is a complimentary term used as a collective noun for a group of women (age unimportant) but usually out for a good time, looking their best and usually (I am always pleased to see) dressed inappropriately for the conditions Hence they would IMHO usually not be upset by it. Whereas Bimbo, yes definitely a derogatory term as is "a Fluffy" however I know one that was delighted and proud to adopt the term as her nickname, perhaps she was actually really intelligent, putting on an act and had a good sense of humour.    Report

03/03/2008, 16:01 Gluestick Joined on 22/03/2006 UK and Nord Pas de Calais Posts 2,341 Re: My "Totty" post Cor dear! A "Fluffy", J.R. Very early 1930s Neville Shute pilot's stuff that!   "Yes, but that apart, Mrs Lincoln, did you enjoy the play?" Gluestick    Report

03/03/2008, 18:31 Frenchie Joined on 31/05/2007 2 Sèvres,79 Posts 3,515 Re: My "Totty" post I am also with an Englishman who is 12 years older than I ...    He was more conscious of that than I when we met .. It was never a problem for me . I have always seen the person only and age is in attitude!! To me, it means nothing.. I was a bit " shocked" to read the term " dirty old man " !! He would laugh I know ........    In a couple, if it is said with humour, I have the feeling any little name is alright.. As we are of different nationality , I love the names he says in English, and he laughs at being called " mon petit poulet" .. I wondered why he never called me " darling" , it sounds really lovely to me, he said I was young and it was slightly old fashioned ( ?? )   Happy    Report

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