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07/08/2009, 8:25 ianmill Joined on 08/06/2009 Posts 24 Re: Losing touch with my son if we move to France If your son is only 3-4 years old just now you have a lot of bonding time in front of you - and when he is a teenager he'll be speaking a form of French from which you will be more or less excluded anyway. You will still be able to provide recreational activities - that is your duty as a parent - and there is just so much on now in the way of clubs for children. I remember too a friend in Provence setting her alarm clock for 2.30 so that she could collect her daughter from the local disco - I think it is clubbing now. You might have to be prepared to spend more time here as Dad's Taxi compared to the UK - but you can't have your cake and eat it. Other parents bemoan a very traditional education - which can be more regurgitation than imagination - but again you have evenings, weekends and Wednesdays to provide mental stimulation. And you will pick up the language more easily than you might imagine. Good luck    Report

08/08/2009, 9:00 Petit Romarin Joined on 09/11/2007 Posts 7 Re: Losing touch with my son if we move to France I'm not sure your child will become 'French' anyway, bearing in mind that outside of school he will be living in a 'British' environment. I was at a party yesterday which was half French children and half British, including a number who have been in France most of their lives. The British kids stuck to one end of the pool, the French to the other, with one or two flitting in between. It was quite clear that despite a lifetime in France, most of the British kids still identify more with those of their own nationality. Interestingly, few of the British kids, despite being bilingual spoke a word of French the whole afternoon. I'm no fan of the French education system either and we too are returning to the UK in a few weeks. I feel that France offers limited opportunities for non-French children, in fact, even for French children.    Report

08/08/2009, 9:20 Nomads Joined on 08/08/2009 UK Posts 6 Re: Losing touch with my son if we move to France Hi I have a friend who is actually going through these problems in France right now as her French is limited.  Luckily she has other English speaking mothers around her. But helping with homework does become a real problem the older the child gets unless you can keep up with your French. We are thinking of moving to France too and are looking at various bilingual options. Have you looked into that in the area that you want to move to? Nomad        Report

08/08/2009, 20:24 Grimaud dreamer Joined on 05/08/2009 England Posts 46 Re: Losing touch with my son if we move to France I do know that there are bi-lingual options but they are fee paying and may not be within our means.  I also wonder if my son would then fit into his community if he went to school away from his locality. I am quite perturbed by the number of people who seem to feel that the French education system is not up to much.  I was always under the impression that it was superior to the system in the UK.  I wonder if those people who are not too impressed lived in particularly rural areas?  I don't want to live in such an area and the friends I have whose kids have been schooled in France appear to have had a good education.  I will have to delve a bit further.      Report

08/08/2009, 20:36 Russethouse Joined on 23/08/2004 Forum Moderator Posts 12,125 Re: Losing touch with my son if we move to France There are many threads on this topic, it might pay to have a good read through them. Another aspect to consider is whether you are hoping that your child would eventually get work in France, if so it could be difficult. Some people here have had great success, but others have found that work was difficult to come by for youngsters. Two French families I know were still supporting their children into their late twenties, and didn't consider it unusual... www.quimperclub.org 99    Report

09/08/2009, 17:50 Joanna Joined on 01/02/2008 Posts 37 Re: Losing touch with my son if we move to France My children came here aged 5, 7 & 10 and are now all at university here.  Though I don't think the French education system is perfect - what one is? - I'm basically very satisfied with it but I've pretty well given up posting my opinion on forums because I get shot down so often by those who  say with perfect authority, even though they haven't had children who've been through the whole system like mine have, that they know better than me, even when I'm quoting from experience, and the whole French system is rubbish.  Slight exaggeration but not that much! There are rubbish schools in the UK and good ones, the same goes for here.  My youngest went to a rural college in Les Landes where the majority of pupils came from a deeply agricultural background and were whiling away their time until they could follow Dad into working in the forest or Mum into working at the old people's home.  The teachers did their best and there was a really dynamic head but it must have been near impossible to teach interesting lessons  when there was such low levels of expectation amongst the pupils.  Very few of them wanted to go onto lycee or were even bothered about passing their brevet, my daughter's friend who had an average of 15 wanted to do a BEP in looking after old people (basically the lowest level of qualification) because everyone else was, and was actually forced by the conseille de classe into going to lycee.  She's now at fac and loving it!  Not all rural schools are like that of course, but it's worth bearing in mind.      Report

10/08/2009, 18:06 ianmill Joined on 08/06/2009 Posts 24 Re: Losing touch with my son if we move to France Joanna - don't give up - it is important that all sides of an argument are aired - and interested parties can use the various posts to help in the decision-making process they have to undertake. I have no particular interest in French education but I do have many French friends with children at various stages in the system. But for British people heading back home to ensure a better education for their children I would like to remind them that perhaps one reason for bringing the young family to France was to allow the children to grow up in a country where there is less drunkeness, drug-taking, stabbings, etc. Out of the frying pan?    Report

10/08/2009, 22:03 Anton Redman Joined on 23/08/2004 Gironde Posts 2,809 Re: Losing touch with my son if we move to France "  I won't be able to help with his homework " Why ? Most of the questions on the forum about homework over the last 5 years have been either word play where the same solutions work in English and French -  What is the word used to make a battery ready for work ? How do a group of cavaliers attack the enermy ? Charge ! or worse still maths - one included an early aide memoire for pi. Most kids who grow up with parents speaking two languages have no problems - the great fun when they share a language their parents do not speak very well.      Report

10/08/2009, 23:22 Sprogster Joined on 23/08/2004 Var & C.I. Posts 662 Re: Losing touch with my son if we move to France ianmill, on what statistical evidence do you base your assumptions that in France there is less drunkness, drug taking, stabbings etc? My understanding is that the drug culture in France is pervasive and that the youth suicide rate in France is much higher than the UK. It all depends on the areas of France and the Uk you are comparing, as you are not comparing like with like if you move from a city or a suburban area of the UK to a rural area of France.    Report

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