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 19/05/2008, 8:54
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Hoddy
Joined on 23/08/2004
.....Forum Moderator..... NW Leics/SE Dordogne
Posts 2,082
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The other thing can happen too - I rather miss my ex daughter-in-law even though I understand perfectly why she and my son divorced.
Hoddy
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19/05/2008, 10:29
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now just john
 
Joined on 28/04/2005
Montignac le coq
Posts 366
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A lot of water still has to pass under the bridge. My son had a similar relationship, (she was the most materialistic girl I have met, we paid for them to fly business class to Whistler as his present, she never even thanked us) we tried to get along with her (to her face) but when my son visited us alone we made comments that were not welcome, usually ending with my wife telling him to 'kick her into touch', it didn't improve our relationship (he moved out to avoid our influence). Three years later halleluiah, there was a bust up ![Smile [:)]](/cs/images/emotions/smile.gif)
A year or so ago he met a really talented bubbly girl, so fingers crossed, we learn't that fate intervenes where we couldn't. (not for the first or last time).
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19/05/2008, 10:39
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cooperlola
Joined on 05/05/2006
72 - Sarthe - home of les 24 heures du Mans
Posts 6,315
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If your son is the guy you think he is, he will figure it out for himself. I've never had kids so I can't comment, but I've been a DiL, and no doubt the in-laws weren't impressed totally by me either! But ultimately, it's the couple's business, not the parents. They have to live together full time, not you. You have to trust him to make the right (or even the wrong) choices and the more you comment, the more stubborn you may make him. The one thing in your favour is that the attractive but empty headed (of both sexes) are often fine in the short term but boredom will set in before too long, in my experience.
Healthcare Issues Site
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19/05/2008, 12:03
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Belle
Joined on 05/03/2008
Posts 108
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It's very difficult looking at your children and seeing them as adults, you can only guide, and advise them for so long, then they are on their own, with their own ideas, and values, it is a shame that you have these feelings for this girl, ask yourself, is it JUST THIS ONE, or would you have similar issues with any girl that he took up with,I have never been in your situation, my son has been in two long term relationships, one of them he married, I got on famously with both of them, so much so, that after the divorce I saw more of my daughter-in-law, than I did my son, try and think of it this way, he is a grown man, and unless she has some sinister hold over him (which I doubt) then he is free to come and go, let him know that you are always there for him,and will continue to be so, WHATEVER you do NEVER NEVER rubbish her in front of him, because, no matter how much he loves you, if he stays with her, he will put her first, and you will lose him, also if the relationship fails, say nothing about her, never say'I told you so'. he will just need a cuddle. Anyway, all the very best.
Belle
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19/05/2008, 12:31
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Puzzled
Joined on 05/10/2006
Posts 372
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My SIL at best tolerated the family but after she got the ring on her finger, it got even worse. At first BIL tried to please everyone but couldn't, now he just toes the SIL party line.
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19/05/2008, 12:44
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now just john
Joined on 28/04/2005
Montignac le coq
Posts 366
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Between us we always had a decent relationship with our son and my wife especially was forthright where things were not right, so she was just honest, including the advice that the decision is his, once we told him that he wasn't as happy as he was he opened up about the difficulties. Our son (at 22) needed the input from us even though he chose his own path, it did give him perspective and he knew he was able to lead his own life and make his own decisions, fortunately our relationship means we continue to grow and learn from each other but we always thought we should be honest, without any mal intent; certainly not hiding truths and avoiding discussion, but then being able to carry on life respecting each side.
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19/05/2008, 17:18
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vervialle
Joined on 30/04/2005
Nr Eymoutiers/Essex
Posts 269
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Many thanks for all your helpful posts, just had a bad day yesterday I suppose.
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France Forum » General Discuss... » Other Topics » Re: Daughter in laws
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