|
|
The Lighter Side
Topic has 10 replies.
  
|
|
Sort Posts:
|
|
|
|
 17/04/2008, 9:04
|
Bugbear
 
Joined on 15/11/2006
Vienne (86)
Posts 3,518
|
|
|
|
Four United States Presidents get caught up in a tornado...
and off they were whirled to the land of OZ
They finally made it to the Emerald City and went to find the Great Wizard .
" What brings the 4 of you before the great Wizard of Oz? "
Jimmy Carter stepped forward timidly and said:
"I've come for some courage."
"No Problem!" said the Wizard. "Who's next?"
Richard Nixon stepped forward,
"Well, I think I need a heart."
"Done!" says the Wizard.
"Who comes next before the Great and Powerful Oz?"
Up stepped George Bush and said,
"I'm told by the American people that I need a brain."
"No problem!" said the Wizard. "Consider it done."
Then there was a great silence in the hall.
Bill Clinton is just standing there, looking around, but he doesn't say a word.
Irritated, the Wizard finally asks,
"Well, what do you want?"
"Life is Short - Forgive Quickly - Love Truly - Laugh Uncontrollably"
|
|
|
|
|
Report
|
|
|
|
|
20/04/2008, 12:47
|
Frenchie
Joined on 31/05/2007
2 Sèvres,79
Posts 3,557
|
|
|
|
|
![Big Smile [:D]](/cs/images/emotions/biggrin.gif)
Giggling...
Do you know how Bill's Clinton's trousers' zip is called ?
The US open ![Whistles [Www]](/cs/images/emotions/whistling.gif)
Happy
|
|
|
|
|
Report
|
|
|
|
|
09/05/2008, 8:43
|
Pierre ZFP
Joined on 12/11/2004
PdC(62)/Luxembourg
Posts 1,649
|
|
|
|
|
Two men are out fishing at their favorite fishing hole ,
just fishing quietly and drinking beer
Almost silently, so as not to scare the fish,
Bob says, 'I think I'm going to divorce my wife - she hasn't spoken to me in over 2 months.'
Frank continues slowly sipping his beer,
then thoughtfully says,
'You better think it over - women like that are hard to find.'
Fool me once, shame on you
Fool me twice, shame on me
Fool me 3 times and you can see a statistical tendency
|
|
|
|
|
Report
|
|
|
|
|
16/05/2008, 9:30
|
now just john
Joined on 28/04/2005
Montignac le coq
Posts 366
|
|
|
|
The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive sexily dressed young woman.
And was somewhat upset. 'You are a disrespectful swine!' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children ! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce right away !' (I think she's Australian)
And the husband replied 'Hang on just a minute love,
so at least I can tell you what happened.'
'Fine,go ahead,' she sobbed,' but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!' And the husband began --
'Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days !
So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments.
Since she needed a good clean up I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so I threw them away. Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don't use because you say they are too tight.
I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't use because I don't have good taste. I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't use just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't use because someone at work has a pair the same.'
The husband took a quick breath and continued - 'She was so grateful for my understanding and help and as I walked her to the door she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said,
'Thank-you so much, I'd be happy to have anything else that your wife doesn't use . . .'
|
|
|
|
|
|
Report
|
|
|
|
|
16/05/2008, 11:11
|
Gluestick
Joined on 22/03/2006
UK and Nord Pas de Calais
Posts 2,342
|
Re: Funny for today
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
One lovely bright sunny day, Snow White, Tom Thumb and Quasimodo met in the valley.
The birds were singing; a gentle breeze wafted the scent of Summer flowers all around them. All was right with the World.
Snow White clapped her hands in delight!
"There is a wonderful magic mirror, in a secret cave in the valley yonder," she said,"And it cannot tell a lie! I really do want to know if I'm the most beautiful girl in the World!"
"And I really do want to now if I am truly the World's smallest man ever!", said Tom Thumb.
"And I would like to know if it's really true that I'm the ugliest man in the World; really!" said Quasimodo.
"Let's go then!" said Snow White.
And they set off. Over hill down dale, along valley bottoms and they sang all the way, because they were so happy.
They arrived at the secret cave and Tom and Quasi, being gentlemen (it was a long time ago when gentlemen still existed) insisted that Snow White go first.
After five minutes she came out from the secret cave glowing with happiness!
"It's true; it's true!" she said, "The mirror told me I am the most beautiful girl the World has ever known! Hooray!"
Tom went next and after five minutes he came bounding out, turning summersaults and skipping and clapping his hands with sheer joy!
"It's true! It's true!" he said, "I am the smallest man the World has ever known!"
Quasimodo went last. He was gone for a long time.
Eventually he came out blinking in the sunlight and looked totally confused.
"Who's bloody Robin Cook?" he demanded.........................................................................
"Yes, but that apart, Mrs Lincoln, did you enjoy the play?"
Gluestick
|
|
|
|
|
Report
|
|
|
|
|
21/05/2008, 17:40
|
now just john
Joined on 28/04/2005
Montignac le coq
Posts 366
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
24/05/2008, 9:33
|
cooperlola
Joined on 05/05/2006
72 - Sarthe - home of les 24 heures du Mans
Posts 6,315
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
24/05/2008, 9:37
|
Bugbear
Joined on 15/11/2006
Vienne (86)
Posts 3,518
|
|
|
|
C'mon train....................................................
"Life is Short - Forgive Quickly - Love Truly - Laugh Uncontrollably"
|
|
|
|
|
Report
|
|
|
|
|
24/05/2008, 9:42
|
cooperlola
Joined on 05/05/2006
72 - Sarthe - home of les 24 heures du Mans
Posts 6,315
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
24/05/2008, 10:05
|
now just john
Joined on 28/04/2005
Montignac le coq
Posts 366
|
|
|
|
just so this isn't sexist, and lots of ladies from Brazil and Hollywood ![Cool [8-|]](/cs/images/emotions/cool.gif)
|
|
|
|
|
Report
|
|
|
|
|
|
Page 1 of 2 (11 items)
|
1 2 > |
|
|
|
France Forum » General Discuss... » The Lighter Sid... » Re: Funny for today
|
|
|
|