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27/02/2008, 17:03 chocccie Joined on 01/03/2005 Posts 353 Death of a neighbour Could anybody give me some guidance on the proper way to pay one's respects following the death of a neighbour (very elderly who lived with the family). I am on friendly chatting terms with the family (though not the elderly person ...who I don't know). Should I give a condolence card?  If so, in person, or popped into the mailbox?  I would really appreciate a French phrase to write in the card, rather than my strangled French. Many thanks   (PS - I wouldn't expect to be invited to the funeral, but if I was, would it be a terrible snub if I didn't go?  It is near the first anniversary of a deep loss of my own and I would find it very upsetting to attend.)    Report

27/02/2008, 17:10 Cat Joined on 21/01/2005 ------- Forum Moderator ------- Lot Posts 2,788 Re: Death of a neighbour A small table is usually placed outside the house of the person that has died, with a book in which to write messages of sympathy, although from memory I think it only stays there for 2 or 3 days.   Cathy Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...    Report

27/02/2008, 17:17 TWINKLE Joined on 11/03/2006 Tarn 81 Posts 3,700 Re: Death of a neighbour IF you are invited and don't feel you can attend you could consider writing this phrase on a sympathy card and posting it through their door. Nous avons le regret de ne pas pouvoir vous accompagner dans cette douloureuse journée. Vous avez toute notre sympathie et notre soutient.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           Report

27/02/2008, 17:58 Lesley1952 Joined on 23/08/2004 wales/pas de calais/sheppey Posts 57 Re: Death of a neighbour thanks for that unfortunately I need this info as well    Report

27/02/2008, 19:15 Iceni Joined on 23/08/2004 Lot 46 Posts 2,906 Re: Death of a neighbour Here in the sticks you are not invited - neighbours will tell you where/when the planting will take place, just turn up in the street outside the church. The condolence book will be left outside, copy the sentiments expressed in the line above, sign your name etc and after a couple of weeks you will receive a card from the family thanking you. Should you meet any of the family at any point express concern for the those left behind, much as you would do in England. John   Di Free resource site for new and aspiring Virtual Workers    Report

29/02/2008, 7:54 David_Janet Joined on 23/08/2004 81 Tarn Posts 106 Re: Death of a neighbour When I bought a French condolence card it had a whole list of suggested phrases on a seperate sheet inside.  They ranged from the fairly familiar to the very formal so you could choose to write whichever you thought appropriate, depending on how well you knew the person. Janet      Report

29/02/2008, 8:25 chocccie Joined on 01/03/2005 Posts 353 Re: Death of a neighbour Thanks for all the replies and advice folks, much appreciated.    Report

29/02/2008, 8:28 Frenchie Joined on 31/05/2007 2 Sèvres,79 Posts 3,551 Re: Death of a neighbour In a condoleance card, I would write " Recevez nos sincères condoléances pour le deuil qui vous affecte. Nos pensées vous accompagnent. Bien amicalement . "    and of course you sign the card... Hope this helps... ( maybe it is too late) Happy    Report

20/03/2008, 6:59 pagnol81 Joined on 11/07/2007 Somme Posts 29 Re: Death of a neighbour We arrived in France yesterday to find a good neighbour had died. They were good friends as well as good neighbours. They visited us in England. Their house was a holiday home and they weren't married. I don't believe his partner will be allowed back in the home from what neighbours say because of his family. After twenty years together, how sad. Could I have some suggestions for less formal expressions of the terrible sadness we are feeling? I have bought a card and intend to write a letter, but I would like to be less formal without causing upset.      Report

20/03/2008, 17:31 Ysatis Joined on 25/02/2006 Cornwall/Vienne(86), not far from Civray Posts 386 Re: Death of a neighbour    I too yesterday recived some sad news of the death of our neighbours (in France), both husband and wife. We are friendly with their son and his daughter and last week wrote them a letter as we haven't corresponded since last September (apart from New Year cards) and expressed to them that I hope his parents were well. I felt awful when I read the letter and found out they'd both died.    I'm thinking about phoning him tonight to offer my condolences. Would this be out of place as it maybe a while since they died. Ysatis. On n'a jamais fini d'apprendre.    Report

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France Forum » French Culture » French Culture » Death of a neighbour

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