Could anybody give me some guidance on the proper way to pay one's respects following the death of a neighbour (very elderly who lived with the family).
I am on friendly chatting terms with the family (though not the elderly person ...who I don't know).
Should I give a condolence card? If so, in person, or popped into the mailbox? I would really appreciate a French phrase to write in the card, rather than my strangled French.
Many thanks
(PS - I wouldn't expect to be invited to the funeral, but if I was, would it be a terrible snub if I didn't go? It is near the first anniversary of a deep loss of my own and I would find it very upsetting to attend.)
A small table is usually placed outside the house of the person that has died, with a book in which to write messages of sympathy, although from memory I think it only stays there for 2 or 3 days.
Cathy
IF you are invited and don't feel you can attend you could consider writing this phrase on a sympathy card and posting it through their door.
Nous avons le regret de ne pas pouvoir vous accompagner dans cette douloureuse journée. Vous avez toute notre sympathie et notre soutient.
Here in the sticks you are not invited - neighbours will tell you where/when the planting will take place, just turn up in the street outside the church. The condolence book will be left outside, copy the sentiments expressed in the line above, sign your name etc and after a couple of weeks you will receive a card from the family thanking you. Should you meet any of the family at any point express concern for the those left behind, much as you would do in England.
John
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When I bought a French condolence card it had a whole list of suggested phrases on a seperate sheet inside. They ranged from the fairly familiar to the very formal so you could choose to write whichever you thought appropriate, depending on how well you knew the person.
Janet
In a condoleance card, I would write " Recevez nos sincères condoléances pour le deuil qui vous affecte. Nos pensées vous accompagnent. Bien amicalement . " and of course you sign the card...
Hope this helps... ( maybe it is too late)
We arrived in France yesterday to find a good neighbour had died. They were good friends as well as good neighbours. They visited us in England.
Their house was a holiday home and they weren't married. I don't believe his partner will be allowed back in the home from what neighbours say because of his family. After twenty years together, how sad.
Could I have some suggestions for less formal expressions of the terrible sadness we are feeling? I have bought a card and intend to write a letter, but I would like to be less formal without causing upset.
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