Well, here goes. The grand old age of 43 and my first blog! We are seriously considering moving to south-west France with a reluctant teen, when she finishes GCSE's at 16. This seems to be against all the advice read so far on this blog - and you may all be right. The teen is question is bright, confident, gregarious but has no french to speak of at the moment and no desire to leave friends and social life for the rural french life. This wouldn't be until summer 2009 so lots of time to plan, prepare and change our minds! We believe she would benefit from a greater world perspective, a new language and culture and a stronger CV overall - and are in no rush for her to achieve the next level of qualifications (be it three or four more years until she is ready for university). If we were to 'go for it' and she hated it, there could be a Plan B with close family back in the UK who she could return to, but we would love her to have the opportunity. The area of France we are in (Boulougne-sur-Gesse in Haute Garonne) has increasing numbers of Brit families so she would not be the first or only. Feedback welcome please on the relative sanity of this proposal, your experiences, views on international schools or total immersion in the french school system...or any other thoughts / advice.
PS - we have no intention of attempting to drag a kicking, screaming teen 1,000 miles south totally against her will, so no calls to Childline necessary at the moment.
The simple yet sensible answer is to exit England while her back is turned and don't leave a forwarding address. If this is too much to bear then wait a further 2 years until she is 18 and Esther will not be after you. I think that Plan B dumping her on family is a bit unfair unless you feel the need to get back at them in a really big way.
There is no way you should come to France unless all of those making the move are at least 110% in favour. Children, particularly teenagers, can be ungrateful wretches at the best of times when moving house by just 5 miles generates a reaction that Kevin would be proud of.
John
not
Di How do I get MY free website?
Iceni wrote: There is no way you should come to France unless all of those making the move are at least 110% in favour.
There is no way you should come to France unless all of those making the move are at least 110% in favour.
I don't have children, but am 100% behind John on this.
Tandem_Pilot wrote: Iceni wrote: There is no way you should come to France unless all of those making the move are at least 110% in favour. I don't have children, but am 100% behind John on this.
I too agree that you should wait until she is 18 and able to decide herself whether to come to France with you or not. The area you are looking to move to is a beautiful part of the country, but there is not much to do for teenagers. Its very rural, mainly farming, and so many young families have moved out towards the bigger cities like Toulouse, Tarbes and Pau, mainly for employment as there's so few opportunities for work in this area, except at the local supermarket, or in the building trade. At Boulogne sur Gesse there is only a cinema and a very small nightclub, but most social events are in the summer months with local village fetes, hardly what would appeal to most 16-18 year olds who have lived in town or city in the UK all their life. Your daughter will have a problem learning the language if she is not at school or able to socialise with the local French on a daily basis, full time.
We moved from the UK to this area 3 years ago with our 14 year old daughter who was not particularly happy about the idea. She went to a local French school, but unfortunately, she seemed to be held back rather than helped by the growing number of English students as they tend to keep together and not integrate much. She became so unhappy and withdrawn because the lack of a social life which most girls of her age need, that she decided, after passing the Brevet this year, to continue her education at a college back in the UK. We were not happy about her decision, but felt that it would be unfair to try to stop her. Fortunately she was able to stay with close family near to where we used to live in the UK, and she still had plenty of friends in the area, but the difference in her attitude and outlook now is such a weight off our minds. Of course we miss her dearly, but she visits us each holiday, and she is so much more confident and outgoing now, and above all, happy.
Please do not make the same mistake we did, you will only give yourself and your daughter a lot of pain and heartache.
I couldn't agree more with the above posters. This happened to me and my sister - I was younger and more resiliant but my sister was the same age and stayed on in the UK when my parents divorced. She lived with a family so she could carry on at the same school in the UK and my mother and I shoved off to Malta. I don't think she ever recovered from the upheaval and upset it caused in her life. DO NOT DO IT. What is two years, with a lifetime ahead of you all?
Hi Di,
we came here four years ago when my second eldest son was 16. He spoke only a few words of French. We are in south-west France as well. Because of his poor French language skills no College would touch him and neither would any Lycee in our entire region. No arguments about this - we went all the way to the top at IA Perpignan. He received no schooling here at all. All my kids were very keen to come here and make a go of it but William, especially, wound up hating it here. Two weeks ago he returned to Australia to, in his words, 'get his life back'. And he is. My eldest is 21 and taking French lessons but is yet to find work becuase if you cannot speak French in our region doors get slammed in your face. Discriminatory is an understatement in my opinion after our experiences.
If she doesn't want to come here then leave her where she is. Maybe she will visit and come around eventually, but 16 is a bad age to uproot them.
Please note that any unsolicited advertising will be removed